July was crazy-busy; two weddings and a funeral (the weddings were planned, the funeral was not). Add that to a consistently busy work schedule, steadily excessive eating habits, and several momentary nervous breakdowns, and you’ve got an exhausting month. Still, I got to indulge in a personal 4th of July tradition and watched at least one of the Rambo movies, so I can’t complain (well, I can; the premise of this blog is taking moderately nihilistic approach on big issues and minor inconveniences alike. But I digress).
Superman is one of the most (if not the most) celebrated superheroes of all time. His story begins on the planet of Krypton, where his parents, upon learning of their planet’s imminent destruction, sent their son rocketing into the unknown. He lands on earth and is raised by a farmer and his wife in Smallville and eventually finds work as a newspaper reporter in Metropolis.
His backstory is simple. His powers are less so.
You see, the Earth’s yellow sun gives him incredible powers, including, but not limited to: super strength, super speed, laser vision, x-ray vision, and superhuman hearing.
Nothing gets past this guy.
As for his weaknesses, they are a bit more limited: red sun radiation and Kryptonite. Both originate from his dead planet, Krypton, and thus extremely rare. (He’s also weak against magic, but let’s stick to the subject at hand.)
So, who is his greatest enemy? The one man who knows how to utilize these weaknesses; Lex Luthor, an incredibly smart, incredibly rich, and, perhaps most importantly, incredibly non-superpowered man.
The fandom of Superman is immense, and understandably so. As a child of the ’30s, he was an enemy of the Nazis. As a foreigner, he was a hero to immigrants. His superpowers captured the imagination of children and adults alike.
But he almost seems too powerful.
Everybody loves a hero, but everybody also loves to relate to others. It’s one of the ways we feel connected to humanity. It gives us the ability to empathize with others. And nothing creates empathy quite like one’s shortcomings. That’s why it’s important for heroes to have weaknesses. There reaches a point when a hero stops being a hero and becomes a “messiah.” This has worked once in literary history (Jesus, in case you were wondering). It can vilify a hero. For those of you familiar with professional wrestling (which I am – no shame!), it happened to Hulk Hogan in the early ’90s (and more recently to John Cena).
Batman is an ally of Superman, but they are also rivals. They have many similarities and many differences (which have been chronicled many other more reliable places). The main difference is Batman’s mortality; he is human and prone to death. With Earth’s sun, Superman is nearly indestructible. That makes Batman’s sacrifice seem more real. Batman’s weakness is his own moral compass of justice and mercy, and his greatest enemy is a psychopathic clown with no moral compass. The Green Lantern’s weakness is yellow (something to do with the emotional spectrum, where green represents willpower, and yellow represents fear) and his greatest enemy is his former mentor and current Yellow Lantern. The Flash’s weakness is the cold (low temperatures diminish his speed), and his greatest enemy is… a gorilla (hey, not everything in comics has to make sense). Superman is like a good Goliath going against an evil David.
Taking this into consideration, it makes Lex Luthor seem almost respectable. Sure, Lex Luthor is evil, but no more so than the 2016 Republican Presidential candidates thus far. Actually, if suddenly a superpowered extraterrestrial started saving lives in America, I wouldn’t be surprised in Donald Trump tried to get him deported. But maybe I’m giving The Donald too much credit. He seems like Scrooge McDuck with bad hair.
Politics is not without its fallen heroes. Franklin D. Roosevelt is considered a hero among the more liberal of us. He certainly expanded and helped popularize progressive policies. His “New Deal” economics were arguably brilliant. He also authorized the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. That is despicable, reactionary behavior. You can dismiss this as “different times,” but that’s the same argument I hear in defense of segregation.
Richard Nixon opened relations with China. He tried to strengthen relations with the Soviet Union. He eventually ended the Vietnam War. But he is best remembered for his involvement with the Watergate scandal. A lot people can’t even tell you what happened at Watergate, but they know the suffix “-gate” has become synonymous with scandals in the U.S.
But Superman was never interested in politics. He was America’s (and, by extension, the world’s) hero. What makes Superman the world’s greatest hero is that he has all the theoretical power in the world. He has the power to do anything, and he uses it to help others. And he does it free of charge. The Crash Test Dummies put it best when they sang “Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy.”
Human beings are statistically the greatest threat to human beings. And Superman saves them from themselves.
Superman’s greatest weakness is us. And that makes him our greatest hero.
I hate to end on such a serious note, so I tried looking up some Superman jokes. The problem is, many of them seem to have been written by a child with a learning disability and a limited grasp of the English language. So, screw it, here are a couple of them anyway, courtesy of boldsky.com:
Why does Superman fly? Because he was getting bored so he started flying in the sky.
and my favorite
Why does Superman wear his undies outside? Because he is always fast so forgot to wear the undies first.
positivelyexistential 